Question 

I am wondering when to step in and help my parents with finances. They are both in their early 90s and getting slower and slower. Specifically, they have stopped driving, so I take them shopping. They process information with some difficulty and check writing is very, very shaky. I am not sure if they pay bills on time. I hope they do but I am not sure. I think at this point they could use my help. What I am wondering is how to bring up the subject to them. I am not even sure that they have wills, as this is never something we talk about in our family. Both parents are very proud, especially dad. I just want to make sure that bills are paid, and no one is taking advantage of them. Please advise on how to approach the subject. 

Answer 

Your parents are at an age when one might struggle to manage finances. Writing becomes more difficult due to eyesight and neurological issues with fine motor skills. What you are seeing is quite common for individuals in their 90s. I believe it is just fine to ask your parents if they are still comfortable managing their bills or would they like some assistance from you. While there is no history of open communication about money, that does not mean that they would be offended by your query. The next time you take them shopping and watch them struggle with payment you could mention your observation and ask if they would like your assistance. They could say no or ask you to stay out of their business, though if they are truly struggling, they will need assistance at some point and they likely recognize that. What is common is for a parent to add you as another signer on their checking account. When you are with them then, you could write out the check in their presence. You could offer to write out the checks once or twice a month to pay their bills or sign them up for direct payment from their bank accounts. It may be time to update your parents on the current state of affairs when it comes to banking. You may wish to show them an article or two about using checks and the risks they are taking with paper checks. Not everyone even uses paper checks anymore for payments due to issues with fraud. If your parents use cell phones, you could help set them up with an application on their phone. Many banks use facial recognition in their applications so they would not even need to remember the password. Bills could be paid directly through the application. Even easier would be to shop with a credit card and pay the balance once a month. It may be a bit too much for that much change at this point, so I would start with simply opening a dialog about check signing. A simple offer of assistance may be accepted at this point. At a minimum it lets your parents know that you notice and are willing to help. They may be prideful, but they also know that they will need your help at some point. Right now, watch, listen, be patient, and ready to lend a hand. It will play out.