Question 

My father died in the last year and my mother has sold the house and is moving into a retirement complex. She will have her own lovely apartment, that is really a house in this very large operation. Mom is very excited about this move, so we are very happy for her. 
 
One of the reasons she is looking forward to the move is to meet people, especially men. She has not been quiet about the possibility of a new relationship and sex again. She reports that the place she is moving to is a little bit like living on a college campus and she cannot wait to relive that experience. 
 
Mom spent the last 10 years caring for my father who had Alzheimer’s, and it had to be very hard. I do think that she deserves a bit of fun now.  
 
I am concerned just a bit because mom can be naive. She thinks it is perfectly fine to explore everything there is to offer and at her age there is no risk. I believe that she might be wrong. 
 
Answer 
 
It is good to hear that your mother is looking forward to a new adventure and seeing her move as an opportunity to have that. Some of the retirement communities do have quite a bit to offer for those that can take advantage of it. 
 
I would not attempt to hinder her enthusiasm for exploring what her new community has. She may get more exercise, find easy connection to other people her age, and discover groups to join for cards, stitching, art, or other hobbies. Indeed, it is a little bit like college without exams and all-night cramming. 
 
When it comes to men, yes there will be some men. The ratio of men to women though will not be one to one though like in college. It is on average four to one in those communities. Therefore, the competition will not be what she remembers. 
 
When it comes to sexual relations, except for pregnancy, all of the risks of an intimate relationship remain. Sexually transmitted diseases, or STDs, does not disappear as you age. A surprising number of new gonorrhea, chlamydia, and HIV cases are in the elderly. Not the majority, but around 20% of cases are in that population. 
 
Your mother likely grew up in an era when HIV did not even exist, as the first case in the United States was not until 1981. Because the risk of pregnancy has passed, the elderly are less likely to use protection which places them at a greater risk than a sexually active 30-year-old. It would be a good idea for your mother to spend a bit of time getting reacquainted with clinical aspects of a sexual relationship so that she embarks on that journey prepared. 
 
Please pack some literature with her on STDs in the elderly along with some condoms for your moving expedition. Don’t assume she will be comfortable obtaining on her own. Just think of it as a bit of parenting in reverse.