Question

"Is there any way to prevent bed head? I know this sounds silly, but both my parents sit and walk around with what I call “bedheads.” Their hair is flattened on one side of their head, and they seem totally oblivious to it. It looks awful. It also makes them appear feeble-minded, because they’re unaware of how odd they look to others.

My mother gets her hair done weekly, which seems common for ladies of her generation. What happens within hours is her recliner flattens her hair where she rests her head. I can fluff it out, but I don’t live with her, so at times she’s out and about with this goofy hairdo.

Maybe I’m the only one that notices or cares, but it would be nice to have a solution to the problem.

My father is no better than Mom and I can’t rely upon him to point it out to her. She could fluff it out a bit if she just put her hand up to her head and tried."

Answer

I understand how minor flattened or askew hair is, but I agree that it signals a certain level of neglect to personal grooming if not resolved once a person is dressed for the day. 

There are some strategies you could employ to prevent or resolve the issue:

1. Mention the problem to your mother. She may not be aware!
2. Practice with your parents simply fluffing their bedhead with their fingers or a hair pick. It doesn’t take a lot to do this. A lightly-used hair pick can work great for your mother’s do.
3. Consider a silk or satin pillowcase, and headrest cover for the recliner. These items will cause less friction and may flatten hair a bit less.
4. Maybe strategically placed mirrors would be a good idea. When you can see the back and sides of your head, you’ll be more likely to do something about how it looks. I think we could all benefit from a mirror that gives a front and rear view. Let your parents know how this works for you and that you’re sharing this little tip to help them identify when a little adjustment is needed.
5. Consider a simpler hairdo for both parents. Very short hair on men always stays in place. A simple short cut for women may also make the issue less noticeable. She could ask her hair stylist for suggestions.

It’s quite common for the elderly to face hair grooming challenges. Eyesight, arm mobility, and desire to impress can all be limited. Taking little steps to assist your parents could make you feel better and spruce up your parents’ appearance, enhancing quality of life for everyone. Do not be surprised if you meet some resistance though.