Question 

My father died a year ago and my mother has become rather homebound because of it. She goes to church, the store, and bingo once a week. I think she would really enjoy going on our family vacation this year to get out and do something fun. 

What I am wondering is how to incorporate mom into a family vacation that includes active grade school aged children? 

Mom is in her late 70s. She gets around okay, though she is not overly active. I do not know how she would do on a hike or anything strenuous. We typically like adventure type vacations, and I am fairly sure that mom is not up to our usual activity. It does affect our planning and would like some advice on setting up a vacation that everyone will enjoy.  

Answer 

Planning a vacation that everyone will enjoy is a challenge even before you take your mother into consideration, but it can be done and many families do it each year.  

Since you are in the planning phase, start by asking your mother if she is interested in joining you. If she is, work out the financial aspect. Will she be paying for herself or are you covering the entire tab. To avoid misunderstanding it is best to sort this out upfront. 

If you head to the same cottage each year, the discussion is a simple one. You know the terrain, the sleeping arrangements, and what amenities the location has. It will be easy to plan for your mother to join you. 

If vacation is a new adventure each year, more planning is involved and mom’s participation may be dependent on where you go and what you do. If you plan out the activities in advance, within reason, your mother will have a better idea if she can see herself enjoying your type of vacation.  

With active school age children, you will want to plan outings each day. Hiking, swimming, games, and adventures will make a great vacation for children. I do not believe that it is necessary for your mother to participate in every activity. She may be satisfied watching some of the active time. She may prefer to read or knit while she waits for the family to return from a hike. Other activities she will be able to watch or participate in a limited way. Swimming is an example. Sitting at the pool or strolling along the beach watching the grandchildren may be enough for her. Plenty of 70-year-olds put on a suit and get in on the action, so encourage your mother to join in if she wants to. 

What I would do is plan some of the activities to be less strenuous than others so that your mother can fully participate in some of the action. Some beach time, museum trips, boat rides, game nights, or shopping may be more to your mother’s liking. The children will likely enjoy those activities also. 

If your mother would like to participate in a family hike or two, talk about her footwear and conditioning so that she is prepared to handle the activity. Many women her age can participate in a reasonable level of activity. If she is determined, she could do some training for your hikes by walking daily and gradually increasing her distance, so that she is conditioned for the hike. I also recommend that she vary her terrain and wear hiking shoes. In the process, she will discover added strength and endurance, which will improve her overall health. Walking and movement is such an important aspect of most vacations that getting ready and building endurance is wonderful conditioning for getting around theme parks, hustling through airports, and getting in and out of buses, trains, and vehicles.  

Do take into consideration any health issues that she may have and do your best to accommodate her so that your trip is without time spent seeking medical care. If you plan to travel outside of the country or region, she needs to check her medical insurance coverage and add a policy for any shortfall.  

It will take a bit more effort to plan a multigenerational vacation, though it can be done quite successfully with a little creativity and planning. It will indeed be a memory maker for all and likely worth the effort. I wish you safe travels.