Question 

My elderly mother has a difficult diet. By difficult, I mean that she eats only certain things and it is very difficult to invite her to a meal with her diet restrictions. By the way, these are not restrictions posed by her doctor, rather things she came up with on her own. 

For a little background, mom had breast cancer about three years ago. It was small and not found in her lymph nodes. To the best of our knowledge, she is free and clear right now. And there is no reason to anticipate that it is going to return. 

Mom is 85 years old at this point, and I am not sure what her goal is. She says that she does not want to die from cancer and she is doing everything she can to prevent that. 

I will give you a few examples: she will not eat any produce unless you wash it a certain way; she rarely eats meat, no wheat, no dairy products, no alcohol, no sugar, and a host of other restrictions she has placed. We have no idea how to cook for her since her diet has changed so much.  

We could use a little help here. 

Answer 

Your mother has had quite the scare with her cancer diagnosis. Her cancer is real and it could come back. She is doing what any reasonable person might do, and she is educating herself on possible ways to prevent a recurrence.  

There is a great deal of speculation, research, and opinions about the causation for cancer. One connection that is known is the relationship between smoking and cancer. Since smoking is an inhaled carcinogen, it is easy to suspect a connection between other inhaled or ingested substances.  

Today there is widespread belief that some foods should be avoided and that some chemicals may be harmful to humans. It is also believed that some foods are better for you than others. Research seems to be coming out weekly about one food substance or another. Your mother is likely actively searching for solutions and ways to prevent her cancer from returning. 

The solution to cancer will be solved and slowly answers are emerging. Your mother may be ahead of the curve, or not. I look at it this way; none of us thought too much about smoking when I was a child. All of my uncles smoked. You could smoke in the office, on a plane, in a bar, almost anywhere. Now we feel sorry for people hooked on smoking and think of them as a walking time bomb. There were likely people 50 years ago talking about the dangers of smoking.  

Therefore, I think you should humor her and do your best to provide food that she is willing to eat. Yes, it will be difficult to cook for her, very difficult. That does not make her choices wrong. Ask your mother for recipe ideas and roll with it. People on very specific diets like that have low expectations from everyone else. She may have some wonderful recipes to share, and they might be healthier than what you usually prepare.  

You might want to ask your mother to share her recently acquired information about diet and cancer with you, just so that you can understand her dietary choices. Not to criticize her or challenge her, just for your information. After all, there tends to be a hereditary link to cancer, and the more you know the better. Your mother needs your support and understanding. Someday we will know more with more certainty about the relationship between what we ingest and cancer.