Question

"My mom wears the same thing every day for weeks. This outfit is a pair of jogging pants, a loose top, and a sweater. There is no variation in her wardrobe. If I offer to take her somewhere and suggest that she change into something a bit different or more fancy, she scoffs and says she’s just fine.

Truth be told, Mom’s favorite outfit is not dirty, and she doesn’t smell. When I suggest she try something else, she always refuses. 

I wonder what the issue is. Why will Mom not change it up once in a while? What do I do to get her to wear something different? She looks like no one cares for her."

Answer

I’m reading this and smiling because my mother recently said that about my work attire. Apparently, I wear black a lot: black blazers, black slacks, and even black shirts. Frankly, it’s easy. I always match and it makes getting ready in the morning simple. Matching colors and patterns is far more work, so I gravitate to what is quick, clean, and simple.

I guess what I’m saying is that clothes are not overly important to some of us. Maybe it’s laziness, or that we have different priorities. I’m not clear on the psychology of clothing choices and why we select certain things. I do know that ease and comfort are big draws for some, and that we all tend to have favorite clothing items we repeat often. Then we feel disappointed when those items wear out and we must find replacements. Some will go back to the original source to attempt to find the exact same garment, even years later. I know I’ve done that more than a few times.

Your mother is just satisfied with what she has. The items work for her, they’re likely comfortable, and she probably doesn’t care if they are the latest in fashion. 

My thought on this is to let it go and love her the way she is. If the clothing is clean and in reasonable repair, don’t give this any more brain space. Try to understand that we all have different priorities, and respect hers. 

If your mother desires exact replicas of what she’s currently wearing, help her find them. Do your best to think of it as a scavenger hunt and try not to be too annoyed by what seems a fruitless task when there are so many new designs and concepts to choose from. You need to accept that some of us just like what we like. 

You and your mother don’t currently have the same attitude toward clothing, and it’s okay to be different. When it’s time to worry is when it interferes with personal hygiene. Until the time when intervention is needed, I would simply accept your mother’s choices.