Question 

I was wondering if it is okay to ask my mother for money. She is in her mid 90’s and frankly she has far more than she will ever need. I on the other hand, am raising a family, working 50-hour work weeks, and helping my mother stay in her home. I take care of her lawn, run her errands, and see to it that whatever she needs is taken care of. In the end, her assets will be shared with her children anyway. It seems to me that she should distribute some of that money now. I wouldn’t call her rich, but she has nearly a million dollars invested. I think that my siblings feel the same way. Should we just ask her to share the wealth? 

Answer 

You are not the only child that wishes their parent would release some of their inheritance a little early. There are circumstances in which it would be helpful if a parent would distribute some of their assets while living. In fact, some people do just that, when their assets are so significant that it is best to distribute before estate taxes are applied to their estate. They usually gift up to the IRS limits. In your mother’s case, it may not be wise for her to distribute assets at this time. A million dollars may sound like a lot of money and to you, it may be. Your mother though may need her money for care. One cannot predict what it will cost to provide long-term care should she need it. While she may not need all her assets in the end, there is the possibility that she will. You do not want to be the reason she cannot get the care she needs. Therefore, I recommend letting that idea go. It is quite tiring to be raising a family and caring for an elderly parent. It is also understandable to feel resentment at times. These feelings are real and felt by everyone that serves as a caregiver. We are used to being paid for services rendered. It is different though when caring for our children, spouse, and parents. They are family. Therefore, I recommend that you do your best to stay the course and wait for your inheritance following your mother’s death. Since your mother is in her 90s, that means that you are likely in your 50s or even beyond. You have gotten by until now and will continue to do so. There is not one of us that would not enjoy a nice cash infusion from time to time. It would be a bit like winning a lottery, which we all dream about doing. It is a dream though and rarely a reality. The other potential issue is resentment and frustration among siblings. While everyone might desire cash now, that does not mean that everyone will agree with early distribution. I suspect that there will be disagreement on this topic. For the near term, it will be best if you continue to care for your family and wait for the reward to come later. Do save for your retirement independent of potential inheritance, as it is best to rely on yourself for your future needs. It is a worthwhile question though, and if your mother’s assets were more significant, something that might be reasonable.