Question 

My father is the great “denying anything is wrong” patient, and it has not always worked out well for him. I would love to break him of this problem, but I have no idea where to begin. 

I will give you an example of one situation that turned out badly. Dad goes to the doctor for a checkup. They have you fill out this question-and-answer form on the internet. Because dad is computer challenged, he had me answer the questions for him. He pretty much told a pack of lies. He lied about alcohol intake, sleep, diet, exercise, and everything else on the form. I am not sure why he even filled out the questionnaire. 

Once his blood pressure medication was increased by his doctor because his pressure was out of control. He did not admit to his doctor that he only occasionally takes his medication. With the higher dose, he was having new problems like dizziness and fainting. 

I do not think that dad gets optimal health care because he is never telling the truth. Is there any way to solve this problem before something more serious occurs? 

Answer 

Your father has a common problem that health care providers see all the time. Lying about symptoms, medication administration, exercise, diet, drinking, or anything that requires human choice. It happens more than you would think. 

The reason people lie about the way they take care of their bodies is usually fear of being judged and what might happen if they tell the truth. That fear propels them to tell some outrageous lies. They also may fear a serious health issue and lying might delay finding out some bad news. 

People tend to think that doctors can’t figure out little untruths, but we are not really fooling doctors as much as we think we are. It just may take a little bit longer to diagnose. You might get too much medication or too little, thereby unnecessary pain or side effects. Also, necessary lifesaving care could be delayed. 

Curing this problem would require quite a bit of coaxing on your part and a willingness on your father’s part to change his ways. You could start by refusing to lie for him on computer forms. Simply tell him that you will not lie on his medical record. He is likely to get mad and tell you to forget it then. 

If you think he will respond to reason, you may want to explain how he is hurting himself with his untruths. Review the situation with his blood pressure medication and how his misrepresentation (lie) resulted in an overdosing of his prescription. Let him know that while doctors are rather smart, his inaccurate responses could delay lifesaving care for himself.  

Let your father know that doctors see a new patient every few minutes. They are forced to be efficient to keep health care moving along for everyone that needs it. Errors can be made with inaccurate information in our fast-paced delivery system. We all need to do our best to be accurate. 

This will not be easy, though it is a conversation worth having repeatedly if needed. Also, ask your father if it is alright for you to clarify his answers when you are with him. Your truth telling could solve the problem, at least some of the time.