Question 

I was wondering how you know when it is safe to leave someone that you are caring for alone. You see, my 90-year-old father who lives alone falls sometimes. I would say that he fell three times in the last year.  

Each time dad falls, there is a story that he tells. One time the sidewalk was uneven, another time he tripped over the dog, and the third time he slipped on an ice cube that melted on the floor.  

None of his falls are out of the ordinary. I think his falls could happen to any of us. Goodness knows I to fall on occasion. 

What I worry about is that he is 90 and could be lying on the floor until I stop by the next day. He is also more likely to break his hip than I am. I believe that he is at greater risk than I am at age 45.  

So, my question is, what is the best option for his situation? 

Answer 

We humans who walk on two feet do fall at times, even when we are young. What happens when we age is that our balance is not as good, our bones are more brittle, and we do not adapt as quickly to sudden changes in our environment. Therefore, falls can be more frequent and have greater consequences for the very old, the category that your father falls into. 

Those of us who outlive our spouses will live alone in our final years. That means that there will be a level of risk for something happening to us that another person will not quickly become aware of. Most of us will not choose to be supervised because of this fact though. 

In your father’s case, it might be a good idea to help him take some defensive action so that if he falls and needs assistance, at least you can be contacted quickly. At this point, you have not made a case for his 24-hour supervision. Though you have a good reason to make a plan that helps him access care quickly if he needs it. 

The simplest thing to do is to have him wear a device that makes a call for him if he falls and needs assistance. The technology to do that is and has been available for years. There is a subscription fee per month, but it may be well worth it for someone his age living alone.  

A mobile phone that works from anywhere on his property or anyplace that he goes is a tool that he needs if he does not have an alert device. He should keep it in his pocket at all times. He also needs to know how to properly use any device that he has in order to summon help. I suggest practicing if he is new to the technology.  

If your father is willing to do some exercises to improve balance, it can make a difference and improve his overall health by decreasing his risk of a fall. It is never easy to motivate someone else to exercise though. 

In his home, I would add some safety features that could help him prevent a fall. Motion sensing lights in hallways and on stairs, shoes and slippers with nonslip soles, properly fit walking devices such as a cane or walker for days that he might need it, a no pull harness for the dog, a reacher or two so he can easily pick things off the floor, and grab bars in key bathroom areas. I have only mentioned a few things to get you started. A quick internet search will give you multiple additional ideas. 

You have identified a very real issue for the elderly, and you have a right to be concerned about it. Older adults who walk around are going to fall from time to time. Not getting up and moving has far worse consequences. The best thing you can do is to take preventive actions and let your father live his best life.