Question 

It is getting very close to Christmas, and I have not figured out what to get my mother yet. I do seem to have this problem every year now. 

Mom is 90 years old and lives in assisted living. Therefore, she does not need any household items. She does not do a lot these days, which makes it even more difficult. I do just not know what she would like or could use. I do not want to ask her because she always says “nothing” when asked. 

Please help me, I need ideas quickly. 

Answer 

I am smiling because you and everyone else with a less active parent in assisted living has the exact same problem at this time of year. We all want that perfect gift and have no idea what it is. 
How you approach this is by placing yourself in her position, if you can. What would bring her joy, entertainment, or amusement. 

I am going to provide some ideas to get your creativity sparked. 

1. She will have days next year and family events. Birthdays, holidays, weddings, and other planned events. Keeping track of those days is difficult when you are in assisted living. Providing a calendar with all of the special dates marked would be helpful for her. 

2. Getting a card for each special event is almost impossible for your mother. Buying a card for each birthday, wedding, or event in which a greeting card would be appropriate, that is addressed and stamped would be a nice gift to receive. 

3. Your mother might enjoy a basket of specialty food items to snack on or share with her visitors. Without her own kitchen, she likely misses buying new food items or having old favorites. 

4. A brushed nylon nightgown is thoughtful gift for any woman. They are warm and make movement easier in bed. A new robe is oftentimes a welcome gift. 

5. Your mother might like a floral arrangement. It may seem ordinary, but it decorates her room and is pleasing to look at. 

6. January can be such a dreary month in some regions. You could make reservations at four wonderful lunch spots for each Wednesday (or any other day) in January. Make up a brochure that includes a picture of each restaurant, the menu, the date, and the pickup time. 

7. Piggybacking on #6, you could plan several excursions to local attractions that she might like. Again, provide the date, pictures of the venue, and pick up time in a computer-generated itinerary. 

8. If your mother is the type of woman that loves a pedicure, manicure, or massage, gift certificates for those would be appreciated. If she has never used that type of service, she might not appreciate it. 

The secret to discovering a great gift for someone like your mother is to enhance her experiences in the way she interacts with the world at this point in her life. Or in simpler terms, think of ways to enhance taste, sights, sounds, and human connections. 

I hope I have given you at least one idea that you can use this year.