Question

"My mother is nearing the end of life and the vultures seem to be circling. Siblings are asking about her finances. People are mentioning her will. There are discussions about her jewelry, of which there is quite a bit.

All of this talk about material things makes me very sad and somewhat uncomfortable. I can hardly look at my siblings sometimes. It seems that some of them care more about things than mom.

I have this urge to send them all a letter telling them just what I think. How can they care so little about her and so much about her possessions?

No one had a childhood that was traumatic. We were blessed with good schools, a lovely home, and wonderful parents. What happened to my siblings?"

Answer

Distribution of possessions naturally occurs after the end of life and most people will have thoughts about the will. Your family is unfortunately verbalizing,in an uncomfortable way, their interest in how things will be distributed.

While you are grieving the loss of a parent, which does occur even leading up to death, it can be very hard to hear that type of conversation. While they are not saying anything wrong from the sounds of it, their expression of desire for your mother’s possessions might be premature.

You could simply state that the conversation makes you uncomfortable. Such a statement will not likely upset anyone and it might temper the comments, at least around you. Simply state that you are not comfortable talking about distribution of possessions and could it be tabled until after death. Then go ahead and redirect the conversation.